Helping someone who is abused




















Domestic violence and abuse comes in many forms, including physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse , stalking and financial abuse. Fortunately, North Carolina offers many resources for victims of domestic violence so that victims can get the assistance they need. If you know someone who is being abused, the following are some actions you can take to help that person not only escape an abusive relationship, but also obtain access to other beneficial resources that could help in the effort to regain control of his or her life.

The first step is to let the abuse victim know you are there for him or her and you are willing to lend a hand. Although some victims may feel ashamed, guilty or embarrassed to make others aware of the abuse they have endured, it can be extremely comforting to know another person cares and wants to assist.

The professionals at these organizations are trained to assist victims of domestic violence and can provide valuable advice and resources.

Being in an abusive relationship is not easy. In many cases, the victim may not want to leave the abuser due to fear for personal safety or the safety of children from the relationship. There may also be a deep commitment to the individual, financial reasons or a belief that the abuser has changed and the abuse will stop.

Whatever rationale the victim has, it is important to establish a safety plan. This way, if the abuser becomes violent again or the abuse escalates, the victim will be safer with information and a plan about what to do and where to go for assistance. Victims should also remember to steer clear of any children so they do not inadvertently become a target for the enraged abuser. As soon as your friend, family member or loved one decides to leave his or her abuser, or following an attack, the abuse victim may need to get a Temporary Protective Order.

On an immediate and emergency basis, these orders can be issued by the court. If the abuse or threat of violence has continued for an extended period of time, and the victim feels that he or she or children from the relationship may be in imminent danger, a longer-term solution could be pursued.

Following a hearing, the court may issue a Domestic Violence Protective Order , which is generally in force for up to a year. In cases where you may be close with both the victim and the abuser, and you believe the violence could be caused by excessive drug or alcohol use, you may want to consider suggesting an alcohol or drug abuse treatment program. In some instances, simply making an individual realize what he or she stands to lose based on existing actions and behaviors could be enough to bring about true change.

However, the decision to leave the relationship has to ultimately come from her and sometimes it can take women several attempts before they leave the relationship for good. An abusive person will often tell the person they are hurting that it is their fault. Domestic abuse is always the responsibility of the abuser. Her self-esteem will probably be very low as a result of what has been happening. However, in reality she could probably cope a lot better than she thinks.

She may still love him and believe that he may change. This is often why women stay in abusive relationships for a long time. Unfortunately, unless he acknowledges that he has a problem and seeks professional help the abuse is likely to continue. It usually gets worse over time. One of the best things that you can do is point her in the direction of some help.

If she wants to leave she could think about going to stay in a refuge. There may be legal options she could pursue such as an injunction against him, or involving the police.

She could also get in touch with a local domestic abuse service for support, whether she wants to leave or to stay in the relationship. Remember that only her partner is responsible for the abuse. There is nothing that your mum could do that would make it acceptable for him to treat her this way. Does she have friends or other family members that she can confide in? Encouraging her to talk about it is a really good step in the right direction.

If you still live in the home with your mum you could talk to her about how the abuse is affecting you and making you feel. Remember you also have a right to live in a home free from abuse.

There is help available for your mum. If she wants to get out of the home she could go to stay in a refuge. She could get some emotional and practical support from a local domestic abuse service.

There may be legal options that she could think about, like having him removed from the home or contacting the police. If you live with your mum and at any point you feel that either you or her are in physical danger you should call the police.

They are the only service that will be able to intervene in order to protect you both. My mum and I live with my dad but he mentally abuses my mum by shouting at her and saying nasty things.

The way that your dad is treating your mum is completely unacceptable and would be classed as domestic abuse. Remember that neither you nor your mum is responsible for what is happening. It may be possible to have your dad legally removed from the house by way of an injunction called an occupation order. To do this she would need to gather evidence of the emotional abuse and seek expert legal advice. However, this will probably mean leaving the local area and you changing schools.

It may be possible to get some emergency accommodation in the local area through the local authority housing department. Your mum and you can also get some support and help from a local domestic abuse service. They would be able to help your mum think through her options and decide what is the best thing to do. Remember that you and your mum do not have to continue to live this way. Department of Health and Human Services.

ET closed on federal holidays. How to help a friend who is being abused. How to help a friend who is being abused Whether you suspect that a friend or family member is being abused or you witnessed someone being abused, you can take steps to help. What are signs that someone may be abused? According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, some warning signs include the following: 1 Their partner insults them in front of other people. They are constantly worried about making their partner angry.

Their partner is extremely jealous or possessive. They have unexplained marks or injuries. They are depressed or anxious, or you notice changes in their personality.

How can I help someone who is being abused? Here are some ways to help a loved one who is being abused: Set up a time to talk. Visit your loved one in person if possible. Be honest. Tell her about times when you were worried about her.

Help her see that abuse is wrong. She may not respond right away, or she may even get defensive or deny the abuse. Let her know you want to help and will be there to support her in whatever decision she makes. Be supportive. Listen to your loved one.

Keep in mind that it may be very hard for her to talk about the abuse.



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